


Rescuing the Doctor

by Person_with_a_cool_name



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: All Doctors - Freeform, Depressed Doctor, Happy Ending, TW: Suicide, don't read if suicidal thoughts affect you!, if you don't blink, only friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-05-29 16:36:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 4,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6384181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Person_with_a_cool_name/pseuds/Person_with_a_cool_name
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor comes back to Jack- in need of help. But the danger aren't bad aliens, he is haunted by his own demons. Mention of suicidal thoughts (but NO character death!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Once upon a November day

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I´ll try to do it short for you, sweetie!  
> This is a story with very small chapters, to read it when you are on tour or waiting. Of course you can read it any time. This is my first DW-Fic and the first one with multiple chapters/real plot, so a comment would be nice :) This theme is serious, it contains suicidal thoughts in later chapters, so please don´t read it when you can´t stomach that! Enjoy!

It was a rainy day when the Doctor finally came to see Jack- hundreds of years after their last meeting from Jacks perspective (; he should be angry, okay, he was angry, but the happiness was bigge). It was too cold, too many raindrops were falling and the skies were too grey. A normal November day.

His team had gone home long ago and he was simply bored. When he heard the whizzing sound of the materialising TARDIS, he couldn't believe it. He tried to prepare what he wanted to say and was ready when the spaceship had fully arrived. He was now ready to meet the Doctor again. He waited for the alien to step out. 10 seconds, 30 seconds, 1 minute, 5 minuets, ... Suddenly he was afraid that something bad had happened. He stepped nearer and the doors opened and let him in, closing with a dull loud "thoud!" again behind him. The room was empty. Where was the Doctor?


	2. Finding the Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack is in the TARDIS, searching for the Doctor. I suck at summaries.

From second to second he hoped more that this was just a bad joke. But then he heard quiet sobs from the end of the left hallway, a hollow sound flowing through the TARDIS. He waited a moment, then sneaked to the source of the noises. Jack was sure he would find a guest, a companion, as the Doctor was controlled most times. And if he needed Jack´s help, surely he wouldn´t be sitting inside, crying.

But to his big shock, in a little cabinet, directly in front of him, sat the Doctor. A nearly a thousand years old alien, wise like no one else and a big warrior, was crying like a kid, curled into himself. "Doc? Are you okay?" asked Jack. The man in front of him wasn´t saying a word, but his sobbing got louder. Jack sat down onto the floor. "Please, tell me what happened!" "Jack?" came the unbelieving answer "Are you really here?"


	3. Why are you here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little talk between the Doctor and Jack. My summaries are still even worse then my spelling ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the lovely guest(s) who gave me kudos - whoever you are, thank you!- a few new chapters will come online in the next few days. They are written already!

"Yes, Doctor, I am here. What happened to you? Why are you here?" The Doctor didn´t answer,but he seemed to realise which state he was in. He jumped up, trying to straighten his clothes and hair - of course it was futile. He murmured "I shouldn´t be here, this dumb ship, why did you bring me here?", then the man saw Jacks face; he was clearly expecting an answer. "Hey Jack, nothing happened, I´m fine, as fine as...". He´d have babbled on, but Jack stopped him. "No, you are not fine." "I am, and anyways, I have to go now. Important things to do. Allons-y!, he said, attemping to go to the console room. Jack blocked his way- he simply stood in the doorway. "No, you won´t go anywhere.", he stated, "You will come with me out there and tell me everything."


	4. Talk & Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor finally talks- sort of. And maybe, just maybe, he doesn´t run away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, dear reader, for going on until you are here :) As I said last chapter, there will be much more :)

When he finally had the Doctor in the hub - which took quite a while much talking and only one or two threats - he dragged him to the couch. "Sit down.", he said with soft voice. The Doctor complied, with a look of impatience on his face. It was not suprising, he clearly wanted to get to his TARDIS and run, like he did all his life. And of course he didn´t want to talk. Before Jack could get out even one word, he snapped "Can we please do this fast, I have better things to do and really don´t want to meet your team. I just had a bad day and don´t need help!" While his voice was getting louder with every word until he was nearly screaming, Jack stayed calm "Then why are you here?" asked Jack, sure that the Doctor couldn´t say anything about it. He was suprised: "Because this big, dumb ship brought me here!" "So the one... companion who never lets you down, who is with you all the time, brings you here while you lie sobbing on the floor in an empty TARDIS and you are okay?" The ex- Time Agent suddenly realised the Time Lord had tears in his eyes and was beet red, looking torn between shame and sadness. "Yeah, I´m not.", he said, sounding defeated. "Please, don´t make me talk about it. Just let me try to sleep." Jack didn´t like this new tone one bit, but made a place to sleep on the couch (if he let the Doc into the TARDIS, he´d probably fly away!) and went to his office. A small, tired voice stopped him. "You... you don´t have to, it´s okay if you don´t want to, but can you please - stay here?" "Of course.", he answered. Seconds later, the other man was asleep.


	5. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor slept peacefully- until he didn´t.  
> My summaries get worse and worse.

The Doctor slept peacefully for half an hour while Jack tried to work out how to explain his team that Torchwood´s No. 1 enemy was down here- and that they should help him instead of killing him…  
But then, at 3:30 a.m., the Doctor began to dream. First, he only murmured in his sleep. After a minute, he got louder and louder, then started trashing in his sleep. Jack wanted to comfort him, but only got a hand on his nose. He stepped back, not daring to leave him alone, hand on his nose. No blood, that was something positive at least.  
The captain tried to understand what troubled his friend, but of course he was talking in gallifreyan. The only thing Jack knew was that he was ashamed and sad, he could hear it in his voice.  
So the human whispered nonsense in his ear. The Doctor started to calm down, and he reached out to pet his head. The reaction was immediate: He snapped upright, curled into a corner, all in one move.   
„Are you okay?“ asked Jack. „I dreamed again, didn´t I?“ asked the Doctor back. Ashamed. His voice sounded ashamed… „What do you mean, ‚again‘?“   
„I’ve… I have had this kind of dreams fort wo weeks now.“ He paused, pulling at his hair, then burying his face in behind his hands. „Whenever I couldn´t force myself to stay awake anymore, they would haunt me.“ Jack opened his mouth to talk, but couldn´t get out a word „No, please. Be quiet, I can´t talk about it now. I didn´t want to tell you anything.“  
It still wasn´t enough for Jack, but more than nothing. His friend was like that, never telling you anything about himself, but when he did, he had a talent for shocking you.  
„It´s okay. I won´t ask if you don´t want me to. Go to sleep now, I´m going to wake you up when somthing important happens.“  
The Doctor already was asleep.


	6. Why are you here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor finally talks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I´ve finally got a reason to write on, as you can see in the comments, and this chapter has some kind of normal length. Yay!

When he woke up again, it was already noon. Jack had had a long, very long talk with the team members who pointed a gun at the doctor or threatened him otherwise (which means all of them…) and was quickly running out of explanations. So as his friend came inside his office cautiously, Jack decided to ask him a few questions.  
“Why are you here, Doc?” It was rather a surprise, but this time he got an answer, vague as it was: “I stopped on the wrong planet. Met the wrong people. Said wrong things and got into jail. That´s all. I´ll be okay and off when the TARDIS finally lets me in.” When he spoke the last sentence, he watched the space ship, sitting innocently in the corner.   
The former agent knew the doors wouldn´t budge, he had tried going in while the Doctor slept. It seemed like she was… angry. Not quite, but that was the best word he could find.  
He got the impression that the Time Lord waited for something, so he went on asking “why do you want to leave so soon? You can stay here.”  
The answer was much more impolite than he expected: “You don´t have to play nice, I know you don´t want me here. As does your team.”  
“Where did you get this ideas? Why shouldn´t we want you here?” He stood up. The Doctor flinched.  
“I wasn´t asleep all the time. Of course I woke up when they tried to shoot me, I´m not a human, I can hear it even when they are talking down there. But that reaction is normal, these people only know me as an enemy. As to why you would try to get rid of me, that´s obvious, isn´t it?”  
“No, it isn´t.” Jack had an idea, but he wanted the Doctor to say it out loud.  
“I… I abandoned you. I left you on the game station and never came back. And I´ve never even said sorry.”  
“No, you didn´t. But you don´t have to. I was angry for such a long time, and I´ve stopped seeing a reason for it. It was not okay, but it is over. And now you need help. It would have been nice to hear a reason, but you don´t have to do anything.” Okay, maybe that was *slightly* exaggerated. Only slightly. Maybe he was still angry. A bit. A lot. But it didn´t matter now, and his friend was clearly down. He couldn´t show him his anger now.  
“I- first I thought I wanted to protect Rose. I really wanted. But after she left, I realised I had just been afraid. I´ve run away, like I always do. Because maybe you wouldn’t accept me anymore. But most of all, I´ve been a coward. I- you know I can sense time, don´t you?”  
“No, I didn´t. Go on.” He really wanted to know more, but it was safer to let the alien go on. Or else, he´d stop forever. He didn´t say things twice.  
“You hurt me. Literally, looking at you hurt. Because you were wrong. No offense, but you shouldn´t be here, you should be a normal human but now you are a fixed point in time. And I couldn´t stand it. And I didn´t want to talk about it.”  
“You probably won´t tell me why you aren´t hurting now, will you?”  
“No.” Wow. That came unexpected.  
The Doctor stared intently to the workplaces. Jack followed his gaze. The door had opened. His team was listening to him talking to Torchwoods biggest enemy. And they didn´t look friendly.


	7. Ianto is angry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title tells more than I want to tell.

Jack tried to act normally as he came down. The others also didn't seem to know what to do, although they all weren't thrilled about this situation.  
Ianto snapped first. He didn't get loud, but it was clear to see how angry he was. "Could you please come with me? I would like to talk to you."  
Yeah, Jack thought, as if I have another choice. I can't really let this uncommented and unexplained.  
"Sure." He said instead.

When they were in the archives, Ianto, uncharacteristically, exploded. "Now, that's typical you! I can't have anyone but you while the great captain Jack Harkness tries to get everyone! In case you didn't notice, Jack, the alien up there is a deadly enemy and what do you do? You practically drooled onto the table!"  
"What do you mean with that?" Jack was really, really getting angry.  
"I mean that everyone, absolutely everyone sees how much you love him! I thought you were my partner, but it doesn't seem like it in the moment!"  
"I. Do. Not. Love. Him."  
"Yes, you do. And he's clever enough to use it. Any other threat would by now be dead, but this one gets a bed from you. You are endangering all of us!"  
"Endangering? You don't know anything about the Doctor. He has saved earth so many times... Without him, we'd all be dead within a week. Had he wanted to kill us, he's already done it. But you think like everyone else here, you think anything not from Earth is a - a thing, something you can dissect or build into a weapon!"  
"Because that's our JOB, Jack! We're here to save the earth, we're here to dissect aliens!"  
There was a little coughing from the doorway.

The Doctor. Perfect timing, as always. He was ash grey. When Jack and a very angry Ianto looked him in the eye, he said: "I'd better get going. It was nice to meet you." His voice was wavering. He was truly afraid. And, it seemed, a tad bit disappointed. 

"Doctor, wait!" Jack yelled when his friend turned to run. He only then got an idea as to why the Doctor was afraid. Apparently, he should not be awake for 36 hours straight. "We won't hurt you! I got my team under control!"

The Doctor stopped. He just stopped. Jack was moved by the trust in this, but didn't have the time to think about it. A bit normality would be good now. Then, a talk. Alone. And then one with Ianto. And then with the Team. 

"Do you want a cup of tea?" The Doctor nodded reluctantly.


	8. Why are you afraid?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter. You didn't expect this, did you? *shameful laugh*

Complete silence. Really, you could have heard a feather drop, so silent was the hub. The Doctor sipped his tea, relaxed posture but searching for danger with his eyes.

"Why did you come down?"  
"I- I'm sorry. I just heard you... And I thought I could help, I'm sorry, please don't be angry!" Okay, the relaxed posture was probably getting breakfast at the moment.  
"Why should I, it's okay." Internally, he cursed himself for not thinking of the Doctor's hearing. "I just want to ask- why do you think I would let them dissect you?"  
"I- I don't want to talk about it."  
"Please." That wouldn't make a difference, Jack was sure.  
"It happened the last time." Wow, maybe it made one. But there wouldn't be more.   
He was surprised, again. The Doctor went on without further encouragement. "I never really liked being analysed, but there are only a few races going as far as cutting my rib cage open. Wasn't nice. But it's over now." A single tear rolled over his face.  
"What else happened?"  
"I failed. People died. I'm going on, they are dead, nothing to worry about."  
"Then why are you crying?"  
That got the Doctor angry. "I am not crying!" A second later came a defeated "Sorry."


	9. Chapter 8

The Doctor was silent for many hours. Jack tried but couldn't get the others to really believe him. Owen, Gwen and Tosh were at least contemplating the idea, but even the files from UNIT couldn't get through to them. Ianto seemed to see the Doctor as his enemy- not because he was an alien, just because he personally disliked him. But he didn't try anything. Why, Jack really didn't know. The Doctor was sitting on the couch, eyeing everyone wearily. At some point, he stood up. With careful, slow movements, he went to making himself a tea. But before he could make one, Ianto bumped into him.   
The next second consisted of screaming, crying and shattered tea pots.


	10. Chapter 10

No one really understood what had happened. It seems, dear reader, that Ianto ran into the Doctor, who started screaming and curled together on the floor while Ianto's cups broke on the floor. Maybe Ianto screamed, too.   
When the others were there, they only saw Ianto and the Doctor flash each other sad smiles and stand up slowly. From that second on, they were silent about this. Every question was evaded. But they sure as hell didn't hate each other, and that was good.


	11. It seems to get better, but...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear reader, a little warning: from now on, everything goes downhills. I´ve written more than I´ve posted, and trust me, it gets fine again, but if suicide attemps, even when not sucessful, are a problem, you should probably skip the chapters until a note tells you to go on. I will also add a short note about what you missed then.

Of course, this only fuelled the other's concerns. And while the Doctor seemed to get better, he still was silent and sad most of the time. He was - Jack didn't understand how- able to avoid very talk about his situation. For whole three days, he just- existed. He was there, he sometimes ate something, and otherwise didn't do much.  
At the end of the third day, when everyone was already at home, Jack heard breaking glass from where Owen had placed his test objects.  
And then, the Doctor cursed. You wouldn't have thought he was one to do that, what with his British manners, but he did.  
Jack who had come back up turned the lights on. The Doctor hastily turned around and held his hands behind his back. On the floor were various tubes with meds.


	12. ... from now on, it all goes downhills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said before, although I hope it's interesting, this is dark and definitely gets darker. Be warned.

"What is in your hand?", asked Jack concerned.  
"Nothing important!", tried the Doctor.  
Sure, thought Jack ironically. "Of course, because it's nothing important, you steal it in the middle of the night and try to hide it. Understandable. Why didn't I get the idea?"  
The Doctor was angry, from one second to the other. "Just let me have my peace! I don't want to deal with this anymore, I don't want to feel this, I don't want the pain and I don't want to be a problem! One little pill and everything is fine, one aspirin and no one will die in my arms again!"  
That could get pretty tricky.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better than the last one, but not much. And don't get your hopes up, the next one is bad again... I'm so evil!

"You want to kill yourself."   
"No, I am not killing myself. I'm saving everyone else. I'm *not* a coward, and I'm not doing this for myself."  
"Who are you going to save with this? When-If- you die, everyone on this world has nothing more than a week. Could you take this pain, knowing that you killed everyone?"  
"Of course I could."  
That was not what he wanted to hear, thought Jack by himself.  
"You can't know that."  
"Jack, I know that very well. I've already destroyed whole worlds. I've destroyed my own planet. And besides, there will be no pain I'll have to live with, I'll be dead."  
Jack was silent. He had to find a way to stop this, before the battle was lost. "What about me? What about my pain, Doctor? Would you like me and all the other companions to suffer?"  
"Of course not. But the others are okay without me. And, honestly, you don't need me, either."  
"Why wouldn't I need you?" It really got tricky.  
"Because", said the Doctor, "I not only left you but am useless. I don't help you but I cost your time. Your team doesn't trust you anymore."

"I do not believe you, but I know you won't believe me, either. So I can only make a deal and hope you'll hold your word. You can work for Torchwood and aren't useless, and in exchange for that, you tell me what happened before you came to me *and* promise me you won't kill yourself."  
"Why should I do that?"  
"Because you could never stand leaving me helpless after you already left me once. We need you to keep the people save. Deal?"  
Uncharacteristically, the Doctor sighed- and agreed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra-long chapter for everyone!  
> There is only one more chapter pre-written, and then, it will get a bit of a problem. I've got serious writers block.
> 
> So if anyone's got an idea then, you can post it in the comment section.

After Jack had taken the aspirin and secured it, he held his friend to his word. After a bit of a new discussion, they really sat on the couch. And the Doctor talked. Quietly, thoughtfully and so slowly, as if he was lost in memories.   
"I had new companions. I had only met Tris'm and his wife Im'chual a month of our time ago. They were from a planet- I don't even know the name anymore. We wanted to go to an ice world. They had never seen ice. But I miscalculated, and we landed in a time with big Business. If you can call drug dealing and black markets that. We came two alleys across the market before someone shot Tris'm. Not because he did something wrong, they were just drunk. And when I tried to get the Police, the next gang members got angry. Long story short, they found out that I'm a Time Lord. They tried to get regeneration energy. They experimented on my body, tried drugs and opened me up. When that didn't work, they tortured me. And when that wasn't enough, they..." He quieted and tried to breath normally. A tear run over his right cheek. "They killed her."

 

"A bit after that, maybe a few days, I escaped. I don't know how, it just happened. I found the TARDIS and just let her drift. I don't know if I ate, if I slept, I was just broken. And I wanted to end it. When she landed here, I had just decided to get something and end my life. Get out of it. And now that I tried it again, I failed again."


	15. Chapter 15

Jack had made this choice thoughtfully, remembering the "incident" since which Ianto and his friend seemed to have some sort of understanding. Even if it didn't help them to learn more or get the Doctor out of his misery, Ianto wouldn't kill the alien. Probably.

True to his word, Jack asked Ianto the next morning. He had completely forgotten that the man had a word in this. Interesting enough, there wasn't a single word of protest. 

So now he had two archivists.  
From the archives you couldn't hear much after the Doctor shyly came down there, only a few murmurs and one deep laugh. That is, until you saw blue lightning and heard someone scream.  
"Not again", thought Jack.


	16. Chapter 16

When Jack came storming down, he was expecting the worst. His mind was coming up with all kinds of unhelpful fantasies, fantasies about the Doctor dead or Ianto in a fight or both of them wounded… So when he ran into Ianto, Jack was pretty surprised to see him unharmed and laughing. Especially the laughing was irritating, but he gazed for the Doctor and had to laugh himself- because the Doctor sat on the floor with some alien canon in hand and completely unharmed. Still, he was looking angry. Jack supposed he knew why. It could be because they were both laughing at his hair. It had turned rather… Pink-ish.


	17. Chapter 17

When he could finally stop laughing, Jack asked a sour looking Doctor: “What the hell happened here?”  
The Doctor seemed actually embarrassed, and only after a bit of coaxing admitted that he´d tried to make than canon unusable but apparently switched a few cables. That made Jack and Ianto laugh again, and this time, the Doctor joined in. But still, his eyes seemed so hollow. It was as if he was a ghost, as if he was putting on a mask. ´At least he didn´t get angry…`, thought Jack wryly.


	18. Chapter 18

In the evening, Jack finally found the time to ask Ianto how it was going. He had only seen a few minutes of the two interacting, but they seemed to work good together- nearly too good, considering the hate Ianto first felt. Also, the hesitant respect they had developed after the “incident” with the two falling into each other seemed to be as far as they´d get. But now they were friends, and that couldn´t be normal, could it? Jack asked that much and got a cryptical answer: “I finally understand. Because the Doctor showed me what I couldn´t see. I saw it. The blacks and the whites of everything. But most importantly, all the greys in between. I saw that not everything is good or bad. There is only a good intention, but no good thing.”  
“Wait, you saw *his view* of the universe? How should that even happen?”  
“You really don´t know, do you? Ask the Doctor. I learned much from him, enough to know that it´s not my place to tell you.”  
Well, thought Jack wryly, apparently you also got his penchant for weird sentences.


	19. Chapter 19

Jack waited until Ianto was gone to ask the Doctor about this. He already got a pretty good idea, but he figured he should rather ask than assume.  
“Doc?”  
“Yep.” He seemed to be half asleep.  
“Could you explain to me why Ianto thinks he´s suddenly got your worldview? He only gave me a few confusing answers, and I´d like to get a real one.”  
That got him half awake, sitting upright on his couch. He looked somehow… apologetic?   
“Well, I think… I don´t know…” He broke off. “I´m telepathic, as you´d probably know. And the- the things that happened when I was caught- they- I´m- My shields are extremely weak. I can hear your thoughts, sometimes even without touching you. I didn´t want to talk about this because it brought back bad memories. I also wasn´t sure how you all would react, but Ianto already had one contact when we ran into another and could probably guess what happened. He demanded to explain what happened to me, to him, and I said I could show it. And that´s what I did.”


	20. Chapter 20

A few days later, Owen practically stomped into Jack´s room, looking angry. Before Jack even asked what happened, the rant started: “The idiot doesn´t want me to check him over, he could get us practically every illness in the universe in here and doesn´t even consider it, can´t you talk a bit of sense into him, damnit…”  
“Owen, stop. Slow down. I get it you want to check the Doctor over, and he doesn´t want to, right?”  
Owen grumbled an affirmative.  
“Well, I´ll talk to him and see what I can do.”

Jack talked to the alien, who seemed to trust him a lot more than Owen. He agreed, although he wasn´t liking it, and followed Owen.  
And everything went well until he saw a needle. At first, he just stiffened, clearly trying not to show any fear. Maybe it was a taboo of sorts… But Jack had underestimated, no, forgotten, about his friend´s trauma. So when Owen searched for a place to get blood easily, the Doctor screamed, trashed, ran away and… _Was gone?_

They didn’t find him, no matter how long they searched.


	21. Chapter 21

The team searched, literally, for hours. Their “guest” wasn´t in any room, not in closets or the archive which was his favourite place. The Doctor was just plainly gone, and Jack wasn’t feeling good. What if he hurt himself? Or got lost? They wouldn’t be able to find him if he got out of the city, his friend wasn’t dumb and would manage to get away, even without TARDIS. “What if..? What if…?”, the thoughts circled in Jacks mind, he imagined scarier and scarier scenarios.  
Finally, he realised they wouldn´t find him without help. But whom should he call? Rose wasn´t an option, sadly. Sarah Jane would maybe help him, but that didn´t solve the Doctor´s fear of needles and doctors. Ah, doctors – maybe that was an idea…

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading that! A comment (and maybe a kudos ;)) ) would be nice. If you have a problem with something, espacially grammar, please tell me- gently. I don´t want any mistakes in here, but my english is only school english. Grammar Nazis, come on! ;)


End file.
